USE TO BE MY LIFE

                           

 Red Dress Paintings - Winter Gothic Fairy by Shawna Erback by Shawna Erbackpic by Shawna E.

I was used to live my life of expectations,

Of other visions, of what is suppose to be.

I haven’t looked out for myself,

Trusting it foolishly.

I locked deep inside, something precious,

Something that my conscious knew 

It’s my truth.

I thought, I deserved the disaster of throwing away the key,

 Of that treasure.

I have surrounded my faith

With the hands of those, whose beliefs were deceiving God.

I was used to a life,

To the predictable days of dishonest heart beats,

And winter cold winds in my soul.

They followed me,

And ruled away my choices as they pleased,

Soaking me in despair,

As a dirty sponge of regrets.

The fear was greater than my being,

Not allowing me to listen to the common sense,

 Appearing and knocking furiously in madness,

Through the foggy windows,

Begging me,

 Yelling at me,

 Urging me, that all have been fake.

I have been in a closed struggle of wooden walls,

As a prisoner of  dark, annoying  voices,

That wouldn’t shut up.

Then I heard  a cardinal singing.  

As the brightness of awakening.

The truth has unlocked its treasure,

By the single sound of it,

 As the Christmas bells and chandeliers.

The crystal clear present of the real me,

Has stepped out of foolishness.

So much forsaken beauty stared at me in wonder,

Why did I waste so much time  acknowledging it?  

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20 thoughts on “USE TO BE MY LIFE

  1. “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being” Eph 3:16 (NIV)

    ….because the outside world will deceive us and fade even when we are grasping it. Like sand through our fingers. Praise God Who strengthens our inner spirit and casts off the dying world and draws our focus to Him. Let Jesus in. Be blessed, loved, and joyous today.

    Thanks for poem.
    Rick
    @emanatingjoy

  2. Ha! Lovely biljanHa! Lovely biljanHa! Lovely biljanHa! Lovely biljana.
    Greetings from Team Shards.
    Felt many of the lines above with you.
    Ha! Cold winds of winter….freezing the emotions -making one numb. Freezing the heart -making one dull to

  3. Wow! This is awesome! And that last line really lept out at me, as if to sum up: minister to and or confirm the essence of previous (people) challenges in my life. Clever indeed. Thank you for sharing your talent.

  4. Wow! Biljana this is very deep. You had me thinking a lot here. I also like the writing style of this poem, very reflective and introspective. Keep sharing your words with the world : )

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