The art of deceive

It came from nowhere ,
Sudden ,
as a random winter blast of unknown and brightening.
As If i knew you for ages ,
you were there ,
as my necessary breath .
Tho I thought.
Doubts …. oh I ignored them .
I’ve brushed the paint from the wall with it
as if I needed reasons
…a valid ones,
louder from screaming whispers.
Uncertainty became our passionate routine.
It was who you are .
You painted everything
that my insights warned me about.
Set backs we’ve tried to repair
with the touch of eyes .
Shattered trust to restore with promises.
My instincts were begging me
not to let it soak in.
I’ve known I should of known better .
Still, i have listen ,admired and loved you.
There you were with your past and made up suffering ,
Made up long lost longing for love
Made up all those lonely years in waiting
Made up gratefulness of how I healed you from all of it.
Made up worth of what I was to you.
Made up everything.
You spoke your well trained speaches , well packed train of coward indecisions.
You’re not longing for what’s good.
You dont want good.
You’re into calculated blame seeking instead,
in your boredom from simple good .
And there we are.
There,where poisin is a destination .
Where afterwards equals regrets…
Where disappointment
Is the place where you led me.
It’s where arrival turn in a departure
as fast as you and your art
turned into deceive.