Poems of 2013 ,2014….2021unpublished)A

Inspiration comes from simply watching a sad movie, listening to the news (even politic),a soccer game, a story lines on comedy channel,…a single memory , a forgotten moment , the face of the mistake or the happiness,silly daily stuff that has nothing to do with what’s written, yet got inspired by it. Difficult to say why writers are into speaking about emotions without basic reasons .Or maybe some subconscious universe directing my mind. I don’t know.
I guess that is what poetry is all about for those who understand and love it. Some poems comes into my head (words or sentences) as it was God given momentum…if I do not write it down immediately, it go away forever …unbelievable , just as a dream in the morning that you can recall again 2 min after you fully awake.

Sept 2021

When we think about what if’s and events that could’ve changed our lives, or when we say I’ve missed for a few seconds or a minute….what does it matter if chance is lost if it’s a second or years if it never happens

Nov 2021❤️

If I didn’t let my history interfere with my destiny, maybe my today would be as sweet as the color of the air in my dream

BZ

November 13.21

FOR THOSE WHO DIDN’T EARN STAY

For you,

Who made life’s agenda to hurt me,

I created the world of wild cats on entry and infinite lava covered forest,

Burn your desperate tongue while you crawl in your poisonous spit.

Go ahead, put your pity step on its ground.

I created the place where I don’t feel,

Or care to speak language of politeness.

To you,

Cruel and cowardly ones,

Who touched and crossed over my carefully cherished place,

I built a country

Where no free streets are left to walk on

To accommodate kindness or forgiveness.

It isn’t made of my heartbeats,

And it’s not meant to scream justice,

Or to uselessly reveal the truth,

Sadness chased my breath away because you powered through my being.

You pleased your inner monsters, laughed hysterically, celebrated…

you sick son of a bitch

For you,

Who stood in your madness upon arriving,

Protesting to your emptiness

You stay there,

Play your angry games with your mates,

And hold onto the thrills of hurt

That use to pull my heart out.

My boat is departing to the colors of bright shores.

You didn’t earn to stay in my world.

The Art of Deception

It came from nowhere,
Suddenly.
As a random winter blast of unknown and brightening.
As if I knew you for ages ,
You were there,
As my necessary breath.
Love.
Though I thought.
I ignored the doubts.
I’ve brushed the paint from the wall with it
as if I needed reasons
…valid ones,
Louder than screaming whispers.
Yet,
Uncertainty became our passionate routine.
It was who you are.
You painted everything
That my gut warned me about.
Set-backs we’ve tried to repair
With the touch of eyes
Shattered trust to restore with promises as all my instincts begged me
to not to let it soak in.
I’ve known I should have known better.
Still, I have listened, admired and loved you.
There you were with your past and made up suffering,
Made up long lost longing for love
Made up all those lonely years of waiting
Made up gratefulness of how I healed you from it all.
Made up worth of what I was to you.
Made up everything.
You spoke your well trained speeches, well packed train of cowardly indecision.
You’re not longing for what’s good.
You don’t want good.
You’re into calculated blame seeking instead
Of your boredom from simple good.
And there we are.
There, where poison is a destination.
Where afterwards equals regret
Where disappointment
Is the place you led me.
It’s where arrival turned into departure
As fast as you and your art
turned into deception.

The Art of Deception

It came from nowhere,
Suddenly.
As a random winter blast of unknown and brightening.
As if I knew you for ages ,
You were there,
As my necessary breath.
Love.
Though I thought.
I ignored the doubts.
I’ve brushed the paint from the wall with it
as if I needed reasons
…valid ones,
Louder than screaming whispers.
Yet,
Uncertainty became our passionate routine.
It was who you are.
You painted everything
That my gut warned me about.
Set-backs we’ve tried to repair
With the touch of eyes
Shattered trust to restore with promises
My instincts were begging me
To not to let it soak in.
I’ve known I should have known better.
Still, I have listened, admired and loved you.
There you were with your past and made up suffering,
Made up long lost longing for love
Made up all those lonely years of waiting
Made up gratefulness of how I healed you from it all.
Made up worth of what I was to you.
Made up everything.
You spoke your well trained speeches, well packed train of cowardly indecision.
You’re not longing for what’s good.
You don’t want good.
You’re into calculated blame seeking instead
Of your boredom from simple good.
And there we are.
There, where poison is a destination.
Where afterwards equals regret
Where disappointment
Is the place you led me.
It’s where arrival turned into departure
As fast as you and your art
turned into deception.

WHEN YOU DREAM

When you dream;

Your hands builds invisible ,

inflamed places,

in the wild evening .

You don’t need doors,

or windows ,

or visible emotions.

No wonders,

where the road is leading you tomorrow ,

thoughtless days,

and restless mornings.

A LITTLE IS ENOUGH

Her soul shines in your half closed eyes ,

reveling nights of frost ,

and the speech

that beholds every change .

In the illusion of words ,

is the finished message,

and endless beginning,

from where your shaken heart is praised.

Love is present ,

yet uniquely confused

in need of space ,

that some can not endure.

In the mirror ,

your burden of passion is torn

between two faces ,

barely recognizing each other.

Her spirit speak your inner truth ,

and strangely feel this power ,

and the moment ,

Living ;

The glamour of knowing ,

that behind tears,

behind aching ,

a little is enough .

I WONT

I wont return

to the hidden lies again .

Those places are transformed

in a passage of not wanted struggle

and unsaid damage

and the questions

nobody want to answer.

It all passed by my home

without bitterness of tears .

Reflect your face in a moon;

see how you disappearing in a fog of yesterdays dawn?!

ALMOST

I almost can’t hear this rain-

Every drop silently stretches into my love melody ,

softly touching

homeless hearts of some.

I almost can’t see

from where the sky begins to melt horizon

in a deep longing of the sea.

I almost can’t feel

this, once, unhealed pain.

In the passing whisper ,

unfolded from my heart

as an reward in a blue veil

of my delightful life.

I almost don’t remember ,

what was that bloomed in a valley of tumbling winds .

They shaped my soul with a thunder

from where i have escape

REASON

I need the reason to stop the time,

where the presents of my passion

is remembered by the storyteller ,

lost in imagination.

I created the cage in my mind,

where my heart pounding remind locked,and safe,

and disconnected from clouds outside.

I’ll leave tomorrow,

for a walk ,

by the beaches of my soul.

GOD’S DOOR

Its just a blur moment of grey,

that turned your trust into a cry .

I’m holding the cup with the hope drops,

please tell me that you’ll try!

Bear with my moods of distance ,

That is the nature of mine when i write.

For you, for us i breathe,

for your love I create art.

I know my clouds have hurt you.

I promised, i lied, i swore…

Those sorrows are gone as my prayers

have opened God’s door.

For life

23JAN

“I dreamed something that even dreams didn’t want to remember .

They contiguously intoxicated my life,

and contaminated what simple me use to be.

I have compared everything to the metaphoric happiness,

fully aware of the energy ,

of the wild animal that i refused to a admit

i feared.

I couldn’t divide unnecessary state of mind,

from those dreams made of troubled conscious.

You have suffered ,

for so long,

insecurely believing that healing should start

by giving up on trying.

Inexcusably ,

you forgave me .

The simple pleasures ,

no confusions ,or predictions to fail.

I am dedicating this to the life,

not

22JAN

What a sensational try

to pull me into your twisted world ,

and penetrate my honesty

with a virus of cowards..

It wasn’t my name written on the star,

that you were reaching for.

Now take your crystal pretend

to the dead end avenue ,

for I have quit on you!

22JAN

“This mesmerizing sunset to be ours

My eyelashes to tickle your cheek

My lips to suffocate your thirst

My body to wrap around your waist

My hand to melt inside your palm

My heart to beat tenderly in your soul

My hair to be wind in your hunting nights

My voice to be symphony of your love poem…

22JAN

“You wanted a picture perfect woman,

that follows your love rules.

To be a doll with programmed mood ring

of your needs.

To be a reason of your routine existence.

To speak words that suite your regulations and decency ,

written by your dictionary.

You wanted clarity and certainty ,

when your vision of life is not clear to anyone.

And i just wanted to carelessly breath and laugh,

And be effortlessly happy.”

16JAN

“When your life doesn’t agree

with the records you’re listening…

Take your untamed heart,

and threw it in the waves

as a failed transplant…”

14JAN

We should dance ,

with the instant breeze,

of the shivering moves in our fulfilled souls…

We should dance for today,

as it is an ordinary need for food,

as it is an urge of our dried throat for water….

28JAN

“Through the corner of the sunset,

through the mist of new born You,

Your eyes reveled happiness.

and i knew,

you walked out of darkness ,

and success of irony chase ,

you’ve left behind…”

28JAN

“Teach me,

how to count my days gracefully…

Show me how to build up my castle

of pearls ,

just walking beside you…”

1FEB

…”Sometimes, everything seem to be unclear,

behind the highlights ,

but today,

the road is clear ,

and i see miles ahead…”

1FEB

” You don’t approve my judging ,

so you deciding for me,

noggin inside my brain,

with your two tongued meanings,

that are foreign to me…”

“Ice cold drops of your untouchable beauty ,

In a lovely memory of a far away land.

In my heart,

unspoken,

The reason of my smile,

TRUST

Do you trust,

that once will dawn,

and you wake up to see

yesterdays mornings running away,

like summer clouds?

Do you trust ,

that one afternoon,

you will greed the sun,

the way you did,

when nothing in your life was borrowed,

and magical moment,

was every moment you lived?

Do you trust

in a mesmerizing sunset,

and sleepless nights

to never be your present again?

Introduce yourself to the trust,

and know that you owe your life ,

and your heart.”

.

DON’T BE AFRAID

People come ,with a warning labels ,

but your poetic strangeness justified it.

You were afraid that ,

once your silky voice taste the toxic sounds,

Your heart won’t be able to love as much ,

and stay in limbo ,

never recovering again.

It was the hunger,

and refusal to accept unhappiness,

degreding yourself ,

For nothing!

It was possible desire ,

to do something stupid ,

with a serious intentions.

Like ,as you shovel your face with madness,

reveling your shame,

To the other half of you ,

that restlessly fight .

Don’t be afraid any longer ,

You still have label of goodness in your heart “

*

UNNECESSARY PAIN*

Unnecessary pain,

forgive me.

I never meant to be that!

Don’t ever ask

what throbbing you like knife ,

when you are not prepared for those wounds .

It frustrating your skin ,

like itch of uncertainty .

You know by now,

its a mistake to approach me ,

with that premeditated speech of the blame.

It twist me in self defend ,

and i send you back to my tears ,

and years, where powerless me felt alone.

Unnecessary pain,

forgive me.

It isn’t cloud over our roof.

It was just departing plain ,

without ticket to come back.

Leave to others ,

to ring ,and to yell.

Their judgment won’t harm who i am.

This prosecution has to end,

just stay a bit silent ,

Its a new day !

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓

RECOMMEND ME TO YOUR HEART

Recommend me to your heart!

My resume of love,

will connect your forbidden confusion,

to the greatest gallery of art,

hidden inside the promise ,undiscovered yet.

Recommend me to your soul!

I am savior of the world,

that you use to believe in .

To the deliciousness of the kiss ,

To present you to your mind ,

since you forgot to smile.

Recommend me to your spirit!

I can be advocate

of your free choices .

To be your possible impossibility ,

and joyful sparkle between the pillows.

Recommend me to your life!

You hold my resume on your palm.

I have the skill to do the job!

I’ll be your morning magic touch

and your eternal search for love!

I WANT TO BE YOUR…

I want to be your sonnet,

your muse !

I want to be your shivering sparks ,

your excitement scream !

I want to see you trembling ,

watching me wearing nothing,

but the warmth of silent WANT ,

barely containing myself .

Your eyes are touching me,

and in my vein blood is grabbing me .

My knees are giving up ,

and i uncontrollably leaning toward ,

designing your visual mind blowing scene,

that you came for.

I want my hypnotized body

to be suicidal prescription

of your uncured addiction.

I want to be your past

and present obsession passion ,

Your sober intoxication .

I want to be ripe pear

that you hungrily taking from the bowl.

MOJA JA

Moja nasmjesena volja,

Moja luckasta ,ociju sjajnih…

Moje djetinjstvo,

i odrastanje…

Moje lekcije,

i moja utjeha…

Moja bezgranicna razdaljino,

i prisutna misao…

Moja radost ,

Moja jutarnja vedrino…

Moja mastovita polovino duse ,

Moja potrebo…

Moja zakletva ,

skromnosti,

naivnosti…

Moja poduka,

Moje bolje JA…

Moji putevi,

moje stramputice..

Moji dvorci,

i prucane kolibe…

Moja svitanja,

i moji sutoni…

Moja tuga,

moja sjena..

Moje krvarenje ,

neusamljena paranoja…

Moja razmisljanja ,

Moje granice…

Moje potrebe,

moje disanje.

Moje srce ,

Moja sjena,

Moja sloboda,

Moja odricanja,

moje dobiti…

Moja sreca!!!

Moj zivot!

Moja JA!!!

WITHIN

Its wonderland in our small world,

sweet soul food of my dream.

Its purpose of love to swim with you,

in a mystical river from within.

Its better to choose from your heart,

firs instinct take and leave.

Give this chance to your life,

to learn how to forgive.

Its easier that you move forward,

and nonsense you did to regret.

To looked up at the sunset with

the truth,

and lies and deceives just forge

MY ME

My smiley spirit,

My crazy sparkly eyes…

My childish me,

My grown up her…

My lessons,

My comfort…

My never ending distance,

My present thought…

My joy,

My morning brightness…

My soul,

My needs…

My swearing,

My naiveté…

My learning,

My decisions…

My better me,

My path…

My rock,

My castle…

My imaginary cabin,

My dawn…

My sorrows,

My shadow…

My blood,

My borders…

My breath,

My heart…

My freedom,

My giving up…

My gains,

My happiness…

My faith,

My guide…

My love,

My life,..

My directions,

My truth…

My satisfaction,

My art…

My Family,

My me!!!

LIFE IS

Its unknown,

its in your soul .

God given time of choosing yourself.

Its invisible,

and like mist,

washing out just a dirt of forgotten.

Its like a song,

some with the high notes,

some very low.

Its like a beauty,

your silent angel

created in a rainbow.

Its like a mountain,

with all hills and depths ,

catching right moment

to breath into you air.

Its like a second,

on intersection ,

make a decision to simple get going,

cos in that second

you enlarge your days

or stay in limbo..

Its like a wind,

some danger brings you,

some gently pleasing your face.

Its like a kindness,

that mold you like a sculpture,

Its like a poet,

stuck between words ,

between the feeling of sadness or joy.

THERE WAS A TIME

There was a time,

when i didn’t know my name,

but i knew yours.

There was a time i didn’t paint,

i didn’t write ,

but it was bursting out of me.

There was a time ,

i stared at the door,

unable to move,

but it wasn’t locked.

There was a time,

when they drove my heart

upon that roof ,

rasping and advising

to go through the jump.

There was a time,

when silence screamed loudly

in my ear.

When the phone ring were terrified

explosion of fear.

When everything i knew ,

wondered what i didn’t know.

There was a time ,

when lies spoke ,

and sounded Noble ,

made me admire them.

Then it came a time,

when i remembered me.

Irresistibly in the wind

and snow angels.

Playfulness of a simple fruit taste,

and candle scent .

The power of the snow flakes

decorating my steps.

There was a time!

And here is now!

Search and find!

Were YOU there before?

AFTER

I saw red curtains closing,

and all the actors waving final greet.

Another story’s ending,

in loud theater heart beat bittersweet!

I saw a man searching crowd,

and his inner tear unfolded aching.

He overcame the question ,

Now he knew that’s how the heart is breaking “

CARRY ON

Abandoned and forsaken

they called a sin crime scene.

Heaven for many,

a rainy cloud for some.

Heartache ,

of your fairy tales knocking,

and nobody’s in the corner,

inside your world.

Still smile ,and carry on,

the storm of your broken heart.

And be the artist of your life!

I DON’T FEAR YOU AT ALL

On the blanket of my mornings

laughter and noises barking by the wall.

Don’t wave at me with the snakes poisoned!

It doesn’t frighten me at all!

In the dreamy sight of the light splashes ,

my lips covered with a smile.

Don’t frighten me with a tears!

I’ll ignore you as every other lie.

I’ll dance beneath the sun,

i’m born to silence your blame.

Don’t frighten me with a darkness,

Your hunger is your own shame.

I’ll walk, i’ll run, i’ll stay still.

No one has earn my time!

Don’t frighten me with years and lost ,

My soul is still young and alive!

The leaves will tickle my toes ,

I am playing the game of life price!

Don’t frighten me , you insecure pity,

I won’t fall… i will rise!

I’ll fight ,I’ll run, I’ll party!

I’ll celebrate air and restless times!

Don’t frighten me with your fault touch!

A new breath run through my rhymes.

On the blanket of my nights ,

a composer is knocking on my wall!!!

Don’t bark ! Don’t blame! Don’t curse !

I don’t fear you at all!!!!

NO ONE TO BLAME

Prepare to climb upon the cliff

with broken compass ,

and washed out footprints in the rain,

falling without the reasons once again.

Surrender to the storm of a miracle ,

and wild stones.

Open space ,

pure as innocence,

exotic and intense .

No one to blame,

for bitterness of the kiss.

You have satisfied curiosity and you’re hurt.

No one to blame,

for not predicting her walking away,

glowing with pride,

and not hearing your fearful whisper ;

Are you coming back to smell the garden?

Are you coming back to taste the spring ?

Are you coming back to see how much I fear fear?

Are you coming back to where it costs very little to beg?

Are you coming back for anything?

.HIS LOVE

He brought

you home a fortune,

in expensive antique of love.

Warm and pure ,

as simplicity of a thought ,

sleeping on the pillow

in a form of yellow rose petals.

Your brain is beating

like clouds above your heart,

in a constant remembrance

of him watching you.

As if the last Horizon approached ,

he gave you a center sit

of the ending-

From where you began your journey !

You came across exotic jungle ,

You flied so far with the string of sounds

that he kept under his sleeves .

You will never breathe again

in the evening that never ends .

He measured ,

He framed whole of you ,

as if the world knew

only design of your face.

He watches you ,

as if daylight wins over your beauty,

Trusting not

to any reason to refuse you,

if he wanted his heart

to keep beating.

LOVE MAKES YOU WRITE

Love makes you write

about the caged bird escaping,

and singing its charming song

of flying above the Earth.

Love makes you write ,

about the boats sailing away,

mixed with the waves and the stars

curiously painting the sea.

Love makes me write

about the meadows

in which he hides,

because the words

in which he promised,

the world of the Great .

About the day,

in which he freed me

from being deceived,

and closed my doubts

of my faith!.

MY DEAREST YOU (to my sister)

When i pulled just as far ,

against the wall from where you walked away;

I hold my tears,

I bit my lips,

My God , i can’t be brave!

“In a few years i’ll see you “-I heard you say!

You smiled bravely!

You always do!

But i caught the movement ,

the blink :

You called my name!

I’ve watched the city becoming as a crumb,

as clouds felt so close ,

i could touch!

I leaned on the window,

and smell the night:

I dreamed you’re near me

as its my heart.

You lift me up!

You are my joy !

Welcoming new spring colorful bloom.

Every day closer,

my dearest you;

I’ll see you soon!!!

❤️NOT ORDINARY❤️

I don’t want to be just a reflection

of the sun ,

because the world imperfections

are brushing me as a moon

visible only at night!

Some wish that between now and tomorrow

nothing changes ,

because it doesn’t decide anything.

Every day, to me ,

is a major one,

when i can over shine

the common sense of some.

When it becomes an extraordinary !

When the Moon smiles above the galaxy

of the crowded eyes,

expecting just a safe ordinary.

I want to dance

till i run out of tomorrows!

My Dearest You

3-6-13

I flew away,

With my heart still in her hand,

My sister, my friend ,my strength.

The clouds called to me

She’ll hold it safely

Return it to me someday.

My being seem to shrink,

Crumpled in lonely doubts,

Yet she smiled fiercely,

Through her tears,

Only for me.

She burst love across

a hillside of flowers,

scattered beauty stretching

for miles,

and miles,

to reach me.

Her honesty falls like

a summer rain of mischief,

a fresh white snow cleansing my pain,

a butterfly’s kiss needed each moment.

I’ve always trusted her hope in me,

inspiring me to follow my dreams,

when others won’t.

Her spirit baffles all torment,

her belief in me forever soars.

She is the essence,

she is the meaning

of Sister,

My Dearest You. (BY Deb)

RUNNING

Running into the wild !

Into immortal dimensions of love …

Into the whiteness of the splashing island

that once gave me all!!!

❤️SO CALLED FRIEND❤️

So ,you reached out ,

You wondered ,

how i am doing ,

wishing i’ll cry?

You wanted me to spit out ,

my misery treasure?

I told you about,

my pride ,

my success,

my healthy heart,

and clear mind .

You got silent,

Your throat dried out,

disappointed by thirst ,

and your wishes!

You went away,

in a search for

other small people ,

and their bitterly days,

to make your misery

hurt a bit less .

So ,now i wonder

my biggest wonder,

how in the world

i thought you were my friend?!

I RUN

❤️CODE❤️

I run like a code

2 thoughts on “Poems of 2013 ,2014….2021unpublished)A

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